Who Moved My Cheese, or Should I Quit My Job
September 3, 2009
A few years back, I read this article in the New York Times. It’s a Modern Love essay written by a woman who had been a proponent of stay at home moms decades ago. However, now in her sixties, her husband has divorced her, leaving her with no job skills nor safety net. She wrote:
“The judge had awarded me alimony that was less than I was used to getting for household expenses, and now I had to use that money to pay bills I’d never seen before: mortgage, taxes, insurance and car payments. And that princely sum was awarded for only four years, the judge suggesting that I go for job training when I turned 67. Not only was I unprepared for divorce itself, I was utterly lacking in skills to deal with the brutal aftermath.
“I read about the young mothers of today — educated, employed, self-sufficient — who drop out of the work force when they have children, and I worry and wonder. Perhaps it is the right choice for them. Maybe they’ll be fine. But the fragility of modern marriage suggests that at least half of them may not be.”
In my pre-baby hubris, I smugly told myself I would never be in that situation. I never planned to be a SAHM. Fast forward a few years and I am at a job that pays a lot, but isn’t going anywhere. I read those stories titled, “Are you going to be laid off?” and realize I fit all those warning signs. I could switch into a full time job (my current one is theoretically 4 days a week), but I’m not sure I want to do that. Instead, I think, perhaps, that I would rather just stay home.
In searching for the prior article, I found this one. It’s another story of a SAHM, this one gave up a successful career (just as I might) to be at home with her children. Her life changed when her husband walked out the door and they divorced. Should things go poorly with DH, I certainly cannot say that I was not warned by the NY Times.
But I realized that it’s all about the Cheese. My DH encouraged me to read Who Moved My Cheese a few months ago. I realized that the only thing keeping me from quitting my job was fear. But fear is just fear, and if you keep on being afraid and not moving, you’ll never find your next Cheese. There is a lot to be fearful of. Will I like it? It’s hard to be a SAHM, I’m not quite built for that in the traditional sense. What if I want to come back to work after 1-2-5-10 years? What if my DH dies or we get divorced? What if he loses his job? What if? and What if?
For now, all I can say is “We shall see shan’t we?”*
* From the Hallmark Movie version of The Secret Garden.
