Tough day, all around
August 27, 2009
Today started out well, DD woke up rested enough that she just play on her own for a while. When I went to get her, she even offered to share her lovey with me. How cute.
And then I nursed her, as I do every morning. She was a little whiny in the morning, but not too out of the ordinary. But when her nanny arrived, DD wanted to go to her and not with me. DD actually fussed loudly when I held her, and calmed down a bit when held by her caregiver. I know I’m a working mama and it is actually a good thing that DD loves her nanny, but I was crushed and my feelings were hurt. In my selfishness, I wanted DD to prefer me!
We eventually determined that our poor DD was hungry! She hasn’t been that into her formula feedings lately and I’ve also been weaning slowly and trying to work out and lose some of this pesky baby weight. The combination of low formula intake and decreasing milk supply caused her to be hungry at the unusual time. Since our nanny feeds DD when she gets there, DD probably thought nanny = food and mommy = no food. This does make me feel a little better, but I’m still smarting.
Then I received from disappointing news regarding something I had hoped to get, but I didn’t.
And then I got home and during dinner, my DH got upset about something I did, perhaps with some reason, and thus I bathed the baby and got her ready for bed by myself. I also nursed her, like I normally do, but she wouldn’t nurse! She kept on wanting to play and cried when I put her on the boob — my milk supply must be much lower than I thought! Which is yet another disappointment, I want to continue to nurse her until she is a year old. We’re almost there; she’s 10.5 months old! (I think I need to choose between dieting and nursing. I would really love to lose the weight, but my body needs the calories to make the milk!)
I know these aren’t tragedies and I am lucky to have my family, but all together, I’m in low spirits this evening. Hoping for a happier, sunshine-y day tomorrow.
